Q: “Will you ever kill yourself?” B: “What? Will I ever kill myself?” Q: “Yes” B: “I mean… have you read my work?” [laughter] Q: “Only a bit. Will you ever kill yourself?” B: “Okay, so you haven’t read my work and your asking if I will ever kill myself: no. No. Moving on. Steve,…
Author: Brian
Reader Q&A #2
B: “Yes, lets see- lets have the young person in the blue checkered shirt there, please. Yes, you right there. What’s your question, please?” Q: [inaudible] B: “Sorry, the mic didn’t quite pick that up. You’ll have to hold it quite close, closer than you think.” Q: [mic noises] “Sorry, my qu-“ B: “Its perfectly…
Camera Take
BRIAN LOOKS DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA AND SMILES BRIAN [Winking]: And I mean REALLY killing me CIRCLE IN ON BRIAN’S FACE. CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYS. CREDITS ROLL. FIN
It’s Worse Because It’s True
you’re a worthless piece of shit there is really nothing you do that matters in the slightest and you’d probably be making the world a better place if you did kill yourself you piece of shit coward but you won’t you’ll just continue burdening others with your presecence you gross weird eyesore at least keep…
Reader Q&A #1
Q: “What is your writing process?” B: “What is my writing process, excellent question, thank you for asking. Well my writing process has changed over time and become a bit more defined and, I think, very effective these days, so hopefully you find some use in this as well. For my writing process, you want…
The Burnt Bits
When I was youngI always thought it was strangehow my father ate the burnt bits.The crusted edges and blackened kernels. He always seemed to enjoythe charcoal-flavored scrapingsfrom the bottom of the pan.I always thought he had to be lying. “Helps to clean my teeth” he joked,with his crooked, dingy smile. Now I’m older. Too much…
Soup
I got up and stretched and went to get some soup and received some lovely messages and I feel much better now.
I Missed September
I missed September. I thought it important to post every month. Throughout this whole endeavor, that was something I wanted to accomplish. An accomplishment is exactly how I thought of it. A boy-scout badge. A video game achievement. A mark of distinction with a defined goal and defined reward: post every single month and the…
I Saw my Soul
I saw my soul in the Blink. This is what it looks like. My soul is a bright, mirrored orb- somehow both mirror and light source at the same time. It is small, and floats in a cavernous area by itself. The walls of the area are a neutral gray in the light, but when…
Observer and Observed
I think about the observer effect a lot. The idea that the very act of observing something changes the thing you’re trying to observe. All these people trying to remove themselves from the situation they are studying, trying to be the impartial scientist, the direct documentarian. Is it even possible? To truly be a fly…